June 17, 2013

This week there is an Archeological dig happening in Nauvoo that we get to be a part of! We are volunteering there to help dig things up near the Joseph Smith sites. The Community of Christ is doing this dig, so we have had some great missionary experiences already. I'm going tomorrow for the first time.
I am going on an exchange to Carthage this week. We do exchanges occasionally and it is wonderful to get to know the different sisters so well.
An experience of this past week? ...Well. I was able to go on an exchange with a sister who is struggling in her companionship. We'll call her Sis. H. Her companion will be Sis. S. Both of the sisters in this companionship are amazing and trying to make things work. They just have VERY different personalities, but neither one of them want to hurt the other. So I was kinda in the middle of this because I went on an exchange with Sis. H. and heard some of the legitimate concerns. I am SUPER close with her companion, Sis. S., so it was really hard for me to hear some of their struggles because I love Sis. S. so much, but I feel for Sis. H. AHHH! It was really jarring to be in the middle of it all because they wanted me to fix it...but I can't. THEY have to fix it. I was just there to listen, give advice, and supervise and then I had to give them their space so they could figure things out. Which they later did.
It hurt so badly to be on both sides and feel for both sisters. It nearly broke me. I sat in the bathroom one night and just cried. I haven't cried much on my mission, but this was a hard moment for me. I'd never felt so alone. My heart literally felt like it was ripped open and was bleeding inside. I felt wet all over inside. I mean, I know that I am already wet inside haha! But it didn't feel so good. It hurts now even talking about it. I wondered "where is my Savior and why isn't He healing and comforting me right now?!"
The next day I had to distance myself from a best friend so things could work out. Eventually things surfaced and got better. My heart is better and healing, with a lo t of help from my companion. :) Sister Mills. She helped me talk it through. She helped me see the Savior's light again, which was always there, but I was just too blind to see. I know Christ is always there and I know He felt my same exact pain and poison. He is my "healing balm in Gilead".
Anyway, I hope that was not too sad. But it came to mind. I really am so happy; the happiest I've ever been in my life! This mission is the greatest experience ever. I got a blessing from President Gilliland and he said in the blessing that my whole mission will culminate together in these next 2 months; it'll all come together and I will have "mountain-top experiences"! So I know that the lowest of lows have an opposite and I will feel the highest of highs soon!
All is well in the Kingdom!
I love you! I've gotta go!
-Sister Zibetti